Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
