cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
