Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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