Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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