yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
