A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize