he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Im part way to drunk.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
