i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm always down for nudity.
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