dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize