just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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