Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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