I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
