Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
