Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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