Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
