Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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