Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
