are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize