ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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