yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
