Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
