We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
