oh god the rape fog is back!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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