All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
