I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
