So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize