There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My vagina is very pro this idea
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
