Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize