After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
