Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Randomize
