the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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