Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
