guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
