Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
