and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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