We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
