Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
