to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
