i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
