Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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