butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
His nipple licking is glorious
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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