went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Boobs speak an international language.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
