there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
