I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Let's get the cat blown out
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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