I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
