So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
