I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
