'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hippo gnu deer
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize