I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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