He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
