If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
