Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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