addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The air was thick with penises
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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