i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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