I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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