I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you didnt know i had herpes?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
