another moral hangover. fuck.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
