last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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