idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
