i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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