That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
