the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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