Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
