How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
