so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
