STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Let's paint friendship bongs
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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