The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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