Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
