marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
