the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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