Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is Oprah even human
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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