woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
