I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I lost the right to judge tonight
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
